A book you should read:My Sentimental Review of Stay with me by Ayobami Adebayo.
“Before you call the snail a weakling tie your house to the back and carry it around for a week”Ayobami Adebayo Stay with Me.
Hey there,this review is long overdue I’ve deleted,rewritten,cleared had writer’s block i read this book sometime in May and i still don’t know how to feel it’s that good,it was so hard to come up with this review.
The book is centered on Yejide &Akin,set in the 80s in Ile-Ife… Yejide and Akin are couples who struggle through their marriage as their marriage as their marriage becomes turbulent as a result of childbirth issues we see Yejide struggle through it all the anxieties,worrying,family interference from family members who deemed it fit to bring a new wife for Akin,Akin loves Yejide dearly but is love ever enough? We see how they struggle through it all,It’s no news that childbirth issues saps strength,makes one subdued,we barely speak of the psychological issues associated with not bearing a child it captures her sufferings,trips to the doctors,trips to fake prophets.In a society where the existence of a woman is tied to the fact that as a married woman you can birth a child it just has a way of making one fulfilled,Yejide is diagnosed with Pseudocyesis a condition,a false belief of being pregnant that is associated with objective signs and reported symptoms of pregnancy.
Yejide shares the same fate with most women who have struggled with childbirth issues,the shame that comes with not having a child is overbearing,there’s a certain shame that comes with not achieving something that’s considered normal,In the African society there’s a stigma that comes with it,you feel stained with shame.In a society that often decides how you should live,a society that’s governed with it’s own rules deciding what would become of you if you don’t do what others are doing the world starts to look at you through a different lens…Because why can’t you birth a child? You’ve failed,The society often holds women to this standards deciding what becomes of them if you don’t walk certain paths.
“Sometimes I think we have children because we want to leave behind someone who can explain who we were to the world when we are gone” Ayobami Adebayo
This book was so personal to me,most times i shed a tear,wished i could hug Yejide,Yejide’s utmost desire was to birth a child it was so important to her, we see how she’s saddled with the whole burden that came with childbirth issues least i forget Akin was a shitty man remember it takes two to tango,let’s do better please.The Author told the story through the eyes of every woman that has struggled with childbirth,loosing two children,heartaches,sorrows Rotimi Stayed with her This is dedicated to all the women struggling with childbirth issues God’s always with you.Months after reading this book,Yejide’s story continues to stay with me Thank you Ayobami for this book,what a book.
PS; This is my own kind of Review,In all you do read this book it’s an actual masterpiece.
Love from here always.
chi.
